Breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

"I know what I want....but it's not on here."

"Well, ma'am, if you tell me what you want, I'd be happy to get it for you."

"I'm just gonna have to tell you what it is that I want and you're going to have to tell me what meal it is on this menu."

"All righty then....."

"I want one piece of catfish, fried, an egg over medium, turnip greens, steak fries, and a pancake."

"Oka-"

"And bring me a biscuit and a corn muffin. Blackberry jelly."

"Sure thing."

"What meal is that?"

PROBABLY ONE FOR SOMEONE PREGNANT WITH TRIPLETS!

"Well, ma'am, it's not exactly a meal, but if that's what you want to eat, I'll put it in for you."

"GOOD. Bring me a coke."

Ahhh....I love these people.....if you've waitressed, you know what I'm talking about. We have eight hundred million meals on our menus. Eight. Hundred. Million. Followed by 74 sides to choose from. In all of this delectable madness, some people make their own weird meal, and then complain when they get a $17 bill.

"You were supposed to help me out."

"I did the best that I could with what you ordered, ma'am. That's the cheapest way to ring it in, I assure you."

"Then take the pancake back."

OH. OK. SO WE NOW HAVE A RETURN POLICY ON THE PANCAKES. I wonder if you brought a pancake back within thirty days, as long as you have the syrup bottle, IF YOU WOULD GET YOUR MONEY BACK.

Mother of pearls.

There's a lot going on in my head during times like these. The whites of my knuckles are now showing. I am squeezing my pen so tightly than ink has exploded out and is running down my arm. Beads of sweat are streaming down my face and you can see that one vein popping out of my forehead in an attempt to control my rabid animal nature from coming out at this blessed creature before me.

Nope.

This is what I look like.

"Sure thing. Sorry for the inconvenience."

I want to be angry. I want to be mad. I want to ask what she expected when she threw out that order on her sweet Baptist waitress.

I really can't though.

She picked and chose what she thought she wanted out of the menu, but she didn't like the end result. The price she had to pay.

Ha.

I do that too.

I have a Bible.

It's a pretty awesome book.

When I say I'm a Christian, I take that Bible into my life as a whole.

But I treat it like a menu.

I pick what I want out of it, tell God I want it that way, and if I don't like the price I have to pay for those choices......something's a bit different in the end result.

I can't take it back.

Pondered that today in class.

Stings a little, but it holds a lot of truth.

When I say I'm a Christian, I take it all. The whole thing. Not just what I want out of the Bible. Not just the things that make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

I've done that for a long time though.....might be a good time for a change.