30-Day-Almost-Dead

Jillian Michaels.

 

I’ve been hanging out with Jillian Michaels.

 

 

 

I realized a week and a half ago that I had one month before my wedding. I also realized that basking in the glory of Thai food for the month of June and binging on comfort food during my NCLEX studies during July had all taken me from a great need- to get toned for my wedding dress. (“Get toned” is a lightly used phrase often spoke by myself to mask the growing need for my body to gain any type of muscle besides the biceps I have from carrying Southern food to guests at the Crackhouse.)

 

So I remembered someone mentioning that Jillian Michaels 30-day-shred DVD was intense and results were amazing after just a week. I checked it out online, and what do you know?! So many testimonials about Week 1 of the 4-week DVD were raving. No one seemed to mention the other weeks, but hey! If Week 1 was so great, I COULD ONLY IMAGINE WHAT THE OTHERS WERE LIKE?!?!

 

So I went to Wal-Mart, and there it was- 30-Day-Shred…..I reached for it….but wait! Right next to it, for only 16 MORE CENTs….30-Day-Shred INTENSIFIED. Well oh my Moses, let’s do this! I have motivation! I have character! She seems like a likeable person! Let us COMMENCE!

 

Week 1…..she yelled at me a lot during the workout, but it was great! I was soaked in sweat, but I felt great! I could see why the results were raving! I’m in the best shape ever! Let’s do week 2!

 

WHY.

 

WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.

 

I just finished my first day of week 2.

 

 

 

I am soaked. Soaked. Like an orca just dragged me to my death at the bottom of the killer whale exhibit at Sea World.

 

 

 

I cannot hear anything but muffled sounds right now. I don’t know if it’s the blood pumping so loudly thoughout my body or because I am deafened by the “COME ON! GET SOME! I’VE HAD 500 POUND PEOPLE DOING THIS! DO NOT TELL ME YOU CAN’T! STOP SHOWING UP FOR ONLY HALF OF YOUR LIFE! GET SOME” every four seconds of the workout.

 

By minute 27 of her “20-minute-workout” I was dry heaving, and I’m not going to lie, I was crying a bit while planking.

 

This is real life. That actually happened. I cried in my black shorts and favorite “Biker Sunday” t-shirt I frequent.

 

 

 

I still feel great, and I can’t explain why. The lactic acid overdose caused me to breathe in more oxygen I’ve had since ‘Nam and I’m seeing some tone in this here Chinese-food-loving Baptist bod.

 

Sometimes stretching your muscles to the max changes everything. It makes you better. For the first time yesterday someone at work noticed that I’d been working out and my waist seemed smaller. In an Oxford t-shirt and pleated pants, I’ll take that as a compliment any day.

 

I feel like my faith is a muscle I am constantly trying to tone. I am so easily stressed by the situations of life, and it’s as if God is saying, “Keep calm and trust God.” I dry heave and cry, but in the end, He’s shown Himself, I’m strengthened, and my spiritual health is at its best once I allow Him to work me out of my comfort zone. God stretches us beyond what we think we can accomplish and pushes us past what we think we can do because it isn’t us, it’s Him.

 

Time to move past Week 1 of your workout with God. Step out of your comfort zone and see what He can do for you! Maybe He can lift the weights you just aren’t capable of getting rid of on your own.

 

Also, I’d highly recommend the workout, but sweet maple syrup get your tissues ready.