And we're off....

I've decided, after some poor judgment-motivated requests, to start a blog. The title explains it all, my life in four words. (No, I'm not including the "and", "and" if you're one of the people who said, "That's five words" then you're what's wrong with this great nation.)

I'm just going to jump right into this like it was an open box of donuts.

Single. For some reason, this is a curse, especially to Baptists. As a woman, everyone around me is married, dating, engaged, betrothed, courting, endowed to be wed, in a polygamous relationship.....keepin' it real, folks....and that's all great. This way of life does not apply to me, being as labeling yourself "single" is apparently an alternative lifestyle these days. If you're not a wife, you have no life. Hmmm....interesting.

My mother is the queen of setting me up. No basis on personality, any manly names that proceed out of my mouth, she encourages a relationship. He could be a gentleman I've served at Ye Olde Cracker Barrel, a priest who "hasn't really made a vow to be single....I'm sure someone like you could change him", or a death row inmate who I had to look up for a psychology essay. "Opposites attract, you know!" She has placed me on eHarmony, hooked me up with men she met on instant messengers, and now the new hit is Christian Mingle. I don't even like the word "mingle". Being a Christian and never convinced that Mingling=Marriage, I feel as though she may be on the path to finding me in a body bag in someone's trunk one day. Someone who sent me a nice message that said, "Your profile brought a smile to my face!" or "I was just reading in the book of Numbers, when I realized....I don't have yours."

Singlehood is not a curse, it's character. Some of you reading this are thinking, "She's just saying that because she doesn't know what it's like to be a wife and mother." I get it! I do, and while you make a valid point, I find talking to dogs similar to talking to men, and when I need to cuddle with something warm at night, I've found the simplest answer to that is grabbing a blanket. Or a snuggie.

Serving. Most people don't understand the hardships of life when you say you're a server. They figure you wake up, pour coffee, and receive an $80 tip by just flashing a quick smile as you run with dollar bills stuffed so full into your apron that you're leaving papercuts on the cashiers on your way out the door. Oh ho boy! We deal with people who ask for pecan pie without nuts, a pancake breakfast without the pancakes, and "Sorry, our kids left a mess, so I threw an extra dollar on the table for your troubles." Good....I knew that if I played my cards right, I would make an extra dollar tonight for that McChicken I've been eyeing in the window of that there McDonald's next door.

Nursing. Nursing is amazing. There is nothing like holding the hand of someone who's not feeling well, and making them feel better by just being there....and by just being there I mean by giving them copious amounts of pain medication. But I do love it! I'm about done with my first semester of nursing school, and aside from large clumps of hair falling out of my head due to some minor stressors like holding lives in the palm of my hand, it's easy as pie. With nuts.

Jesus. Yes, I love Him. While much of this blog has seemed negative, I assure you it is just over-run with the blessed sarcasm the good Lord instilled in me. I love God for many reasons, but mainly because He's always made my life interesting. I'm an ADD Christian, and I demand to have my attention kept by awesome things, and He does it every time. I may not always understand Him, but He's never left me bored, and I appreciate that more than anyone can know.

More to come, kids. Enjoy it while you can....I tend to procrastinate.