Suck it up, buttercup.

I am not a cryer. (Crier? Why can I not spell when I blog? Or think silently to myself instead of typing everything out in parentheses?)

Either way, I don't cry.

At least, not when I'm supposed to.

If something difficult or stressful happens, I don't cry when I should, at the opportune time. It wells up inside me and the tears come out when they're not supposed to.

One of the worst times was in college. I was going through a difficult time, and I'd held in a lot for a while. In fact, I don't think my roommate, who had lived with me for a few years at this point, had ever seen me cry over something. We were at my house for Spring Break, and we popped in The Notebook. I do not cry at movies. I do not get emotionally attached, but the end of this movie, that was it for me. That was my breaking point. I exploded. There was snot coming out in crevasses of my face that I didn't know was medically possible. My roommate looked so terrified I thought she was going to ask to be taken back to the college. I cried forever. We put in a comedy to help with the pain afterwards, and in the middle of a "laugh-out-loud" session, I exploded once more and had to be consoled by a very confused friend of mine.

Today was that day.

I could feel it.....I figured it would happen during a bad time, such as when I gave a speech at a luncheon this morning, perhaps while talking to a table who was upset about their food tonight. But no, my friends and faithful readers, no. It did not happen then. It happened at U.S. Cellular.

I walked in happily preparing myself to save $10-15 extra dollars a month on a "new plan" of theirs. I'd received a letter AND an e-mail, PRAISE THE MOTHER OF CELL PHONE TOWERS, this was gonna happen.

As the polite young gentleman who was assisting me was typing in a few bits of info in order to switch me to the new plan, I commented on how it didn't seem busy like usual.

"Yeah, since the Sprint announcement, we've been a ghost town."

"I'm sorry, the Sprint announcement? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, I thought you knew. Sprint has bought us out. In nine months they'll be closing all of the stores."

"So you'll be out of a job?"

"Yeah."

Oh no, Kendra. I inhaled deeply. Good gravy, woman. Not now. This nice young man doesn't deserve this. I exhaled with my cheeks puffed out. The tears....here they come. My eyes got puffy, and the windows of Heaven were opened.

"I am so sorry, man. You don't deserve that." :sniff: "That's so awful. I can't believe Sprint's doing that to you. I am so sorry!" :sob:

By this time, this poor young man looked up in horror, shock covering his face. He was speechless for a moment, and then full-fledged employee awesomeness and somewhat caregiver broke out.

"It's fine! It's fine.....I have nine months, I'll find something else."

"No it's not! They shouldn't do this to you....stupid carriers."

"Ma'am, it's ok, I'll bounce back, I always do."

By now he's walking me to the door, assuring me that I'll be all right, that he'll be all right, that the company will be all right, and that I can stop in anytime to check on the situation over the next few months.

Kendra's done it again. I sat in my car with my forehead on the steering wheel, asking God why I can't have normal people emotions and deal with things as they come.

He gave me a great reminder. I read my Bible, it helps peeps, always does, and was reminded that in order to run this race I call life (yeah, I sound philosophical, I can't help I'm amazing) I have to set some things such as struggles, trials, etc., behind me and look for what's ahead of me, knowing God has a purpose in what He does. I trust God's plan for my life...and for the U.S. Cellular guy's life. ;)

If he's reading this, I'm sorry and I am a stable human being.